Since my first post was so long, I am gonna keep this one pretty short. :)
This last week has been hard for me. Not because of anything with school or my internship, but because I have been having some pretty intense homesickness. I was planning on writing a whole post about it. But then I thought "Why should I wallow in this and make it worse for me?" So that is exactly what I am NOT doing. I am redirecting my energy.
Before I talk about how I am redirecting my energy, I want to try and articulate how homesickness feels (at least how it feels for me). When I talk about being homesick many people will ask me “How can you be homesick? Isn’t most of your family there with you?” or (more likely from the students) “It is not the same kind of homesickness because you CHOSE to be here.” Which I guess, in a sense, that is correct. I did choose to be here, but that doesn’t make being away from the people, places, and frankly, a culture that I understand and know, any easier. For me, homesickness is something that hangs over me the moment it hits. During that time it makes everything less exciting. Even though I am presented with this incredible opportunity to see God working here, I get bogged down with how much I miss home and the things I know and am comfortable with. But what was bothering me more than the actual homesickness was the fact that I could not articulate how it felt. So I sat down and really thought about it. What was I feeling? What was really my biggest fear about being here? I was afraid of being forgotten. Which is ridiculous, I know that, but making myself believe it is something entirely different. I was tired of feeling like this so I decided to stop and take the energy I was using to feel sorry for myself and put it to another use.
So how am I redirecting my energy?
Hiking.
That is the main way I have been redirecting my energy. Although hiking is not something I enjoy...at all really...it is something I learning to like and appreciate. For one, I am hiking Pico Duarte which is the highest mountain in the Caribbean in two weeks, but beyond that, I am learning about God through it.
With the continuous hiking I have been doing I have come to appreciate God's creation more. The landscape I am blessed with seeing every day of living in the DR has not gotten common place. It still holds awe and wonder in it.
When I was accepted for the scholarship to hike across Israel/Jordan one of my first thoughts was, "I better start to like hiking now." I have been working out and hiking more and more. But as I am training for this trip trying to relieve the homesickness, God is showing me how much I have come to rely on the other people/relationships in my life to fulfill me. I am taking this time (both being here in the DR and training for Israel) to really start relying more on God and taking the focus off myself. I am praying for an open heart and a willingness to receive what God has to teach me while being here. Excited to see what God has for me!
Check back later for an update with how I am progressing!
